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July 2012 - Page 2 of 3 - Musings of Lanna Lee Maheux
[Don’t worry, not every post will be about WordPress Boston. Probably won’t do any more until the video is ready. Unless I look terrible in said video. Then I will pretend it’s not there.]
In my non-WordCamp life, been thinking about cleaning house. Literally and figuratively. More on that later.
I had a fantastic weekend. Did lots of stuff. Had dinner with my pal Brenna at a Greek restaurant. Entertained by belly dancer. Laughed. Stayed up too late talking. Woke up too early. Put on some magic socks. Was nervous. Spoke at WordCamp Boston. Met some new people. Laughed. Went to Joanna’s birthday party. Met some new people. Laughed. Stayed up too late talking. Went to a workshop facilitated by the fantastic Orion Foxwood. Laughed. Drove Home. Took of my shirt. Wrote this blag post. Showing you some pictures. Here you go:
Belly Dancer Friday Night
Belly Dancer Friday Night
Brenna and Belly Dancer
Brenna and Belly Dancer
Magical Socks
I am an Expert for Beginners
It’s ON Baby.
During Break. The audience is getting ready!
Happiness Bar list on Saturday, look who’s at the top!
Happiness Bar list on Saturday, look who’s at the top!
Love this! Outside the bathroom door at the Irving in Salisbury, MA
Welcome to my blag The Musings of Lanna Lee Maheux.
Are you visiting this page for the first time? From WordCamp Boston, perhaps? Make yourself at home. I’ve been blagging every day since last November, so there’s a lot of stuff here.
Over the past month, I’ve been thinking a lot about the direction I want to take this blag. I wondered, do I want to blag? I realized that Blagging has been good for me. So there’s that.
But I’ve been holding back.
Well, not holding back, holding back. I’ve been myself. I’ve told the truth. But I haven’t been too personal. And this is not a regular how-to blog. It is a personal journal-type blag. I should be more personal. And whatnot.
Except for when my dad was sick. I was personal then. [And that was difficult because at that time I was acting as the spokesperson for the family.] Blagging then was cathartic. So I wonder if I could or should open up more.
Some of you who know me from online probably think I open up plenty, but I don’t. And maybe if I did it could help people. And it would be good for me. Cathartic. I like it when things are cathartic.
So I’m going to put it all out there. Lay it on the line. See what happens.
To that end, here are some of the topics I jotted down when I was brainstorming:
Dating foibles – can’t remember names
Bad memory (see dating foibles)
Clowning Stories
Bingo – Sexy Bingo
combat Zone with Georgie
Roommates with George
Drinking Days
What BDSM is really like (in a way)
First Marriage
Bullying – plus Lanna as Bully (and not)
I’m a better clown than you are
Growing up in Monson Maine
Being all fat and shit
That said, saying and doing are two different things. I will do. But it won’t be instant like. I think I’m going to start slow, with a breakout post per week and see how it goes.
Entertaining for a bit tomorrow night. Lounging really. In my home office. In my messy, messy home. So I neatened up my office a bit. This neatening was more of a pick up the floor, clean off the seating area and get ready to LOUNGE, baby.
I hope my guest meant what he said when he said “no judgement.”
Let’s just call these my “before” pictures. Just don’t hold your breath waiting for the “after” ones.
I’m mad at myself. Because I didn’t get as much work done as I had planned on getting done for my presentation next Saturday. Because I’m nervous (didn’t say the anger was logical). Because, because because.
So for my blag post tonight I am going to fess up at the anger here with the hopes of not taking it out on poor Edmund.
My presentation is all written out. But I want to do an informational webpage with links and a handout. Maybe I’ll save the handout for last. I don’t know. Because I need to create my PowerPoint presentation and practice and polish the speech. And look smart. And sexy. And make people laugh. And get to the point. And educate. No pressure.
I don’t like admitting my failings. Like my anger. Because this is not a righteous anger about injustice or inequality or even simple bad manners.
[Crap. Something just fell down in the bedroom. Edmund is not saying anything, so I assume everything is okay. Unless he’s not in the bedroom.]
Anyway. My anger. It is palpable. Yet unpinpointable. Is it due to the mountains of stress I’ve been under for the past few years, first due to finishing my college degree and then due to my father’s illness and death?
Or am I just an asshole?
It might be depression I suppose. Do people get angry when they are depressed? I don’t know. I seem to be functioning pretty well otherwise.
Anyhoo. Instead of ruminating in anger, I’m going to try to get some sleep. Maybe that will help.
I was sleepy on a Saturday. Who knew that could happen? Also, I read a book this evening. (Yes, a whole book.) Said book is below. It’s only two bucks for the Amazon Kindle and it was totally worth it. It’s a romance novel; a take on the Cinderella story. It’s clever and funny and a fast read. Obviously.
So today was (mostly) a lazy day. And now it’s time for me to sleep again.
You see, I am procrastinating hard core. So tomorrow I will be leaving my house and hanging out at Panera all day. I have to finish writing my presentation for WordCamp!
Therefore, no deep and thoughtful blag post for you. I have some things percolating, interesting insights to the Lounging with LannaLee show, something that might make it more clear what Lounging with LannaLee is all about. Exciting for me, of course. Probably not as exciting for you, my dear readers. The end result, however, might titillate my audience: a rocking, LIVE Lounging with LannaLee. So. We have that going for us.
Also, you sticklers in the crowd might notice that I may have back-dated this post to occur on July 7th. A 35-40 minute discrepancy from the actual time I am posting it. I have done this before and will likely do it again. I hold the following:
I am on the East Coast and in the Eastern Time Zone. It is still July 7th in a couple more time zones.
I have not gone to bed yet, so as far as my body/personage is concerned it is still July 7th.
A couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure of sitting down and conversing with Poet and activist Tina Smith, also known as TLove. We talked about her poetry and her creative process. And her rebellious nature. And about being a Tomboy.
It was a great conversation, and I urge you to listen now.
July 4th. This was one of Dad’s days. He was also a big fan of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Anything that would get the family together.
For 30 years, on the 4th we’d gather at Dot Mithee’s family camp on First Davis Pond in North Guilford.
Mom says he’d ask people six months ahead of time, “You coming up to camp on the 4th?” Everybody was invited. Both sides of the family (Mom’s and Dad’s), friends, and even their dogs were welcome. Mom and Dad would provide chicken, hot dogs and hamburg. Mom would make some potato salad, three bean salad, spaghetti casserole and maybe a (booger) broccoli casserole. After that there was pot luck. Aunt Rose would bring her famous biscuits. Others would bring macaroni salads and sweets. If you went hungry, that was your own fault. People brought their own beverages.
Dad and Bill would attach a huge tarp to the side of the camp, plus a couple of pop-up tents, for shade and for a place to sit if it rains. Years ago, Dad made several wooden benches that were placed around the property.
In the past couple of years, Mom and Dad kept telling me and Bill that they were going to stop the 4th of July celebration. It was too much for them to handle anymore, the camp had no running water and the stove was a bit tetchy. Since Dad got their own Camp Cull ready last year, we were glad to hear that the celebration was going to move there (just a mile away) instead of disappearing entirely.
Then Dad died and we couldn’t do it. Too much too soon.
In the 1990’s I missed a couple of the 4th celebrations, I was living in Boston without a car. Some years I’d make great strides to get there. I haven’t missed a 4th celebration since then. So it’s a bit weird to not be trucking my ass up the highway toward Guilford, Maine. Instead I’m still in my pajamas in Westbrook, with no plans. I’m okay with that. I am sure we’ll be celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas together as a family, that’s soon enough to experience long-held family rituals without Dad.
As far as me, I’m doing well. I am feeling much better. Better than I’ve felt for a few months. The trip we took last week was truly restorative, just what I needed. So I face today with sadness, but still with hope.
Happy Anniversary to my sweetie, Edmund Charles Davis-Quinn. Eight years ago today (July 3rd, 2004) we gathered at my Uncle Alan’s house in Monson Maine and tied the proverbial knot. It was a great party. And, come to find out, it marked the best times in my life. Love is where it’s at.
That is the number one reason I support same sex marriage and I will vote for it every chance I get. As in days of old, marriage is a civil union which affords each partner benefits that cannot otherwise be attained. The fact that some of our citizens in this country cannot legally marry the the person they love is not right and against the tenants of this great land. (For more information, visit Mainers United for Marriage. Here are some Quick Facts.)
A couple of weeks ago it was all over the news. A woman in New York State was bullied by a group of kids. One of the kids shot a video of the incident and posted it to Facebook. As you may expect, the video went viral. As of this moment, it has been watched 8,125,786 times. But not by me. My heart can’t take it.
On Facebook, people will post pictures of hurt animals with the intention of spreading awareness of animal cruelty. Others will post photos of starving children. I hide their posts.
I don’t need to know.
We are smack dab in the information age and I (almost) can’t take it any more.
And when assaulted with these words and images I want to fix it, but I can’t fix everything, so I sit there feeling impotent and sad and my heart hurts and I feel low. And useless. Because, what is the point?
Yes, awareness is good. It’s good to know about things. I suppose. But it seems that, while the intentions are good, the end result is that innocent people (like me!) are traumatized.
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