Heart Break

This tweet broke my heart:

Missing my dad / Even when right next to me / Especially then #fb #haiku

— Edmund Davis-Quinn (@rurugby) November 13, 2012

It’s written by my dear husband, Eddie. When I was away in Kansas last week, he went to visit his father in Pennsylvania. If you don’t remember, this August Henry had a recurrence of the brain cancer he had in 2008. Six (or so) months after my Dad died from lung cancer.

Henry had surgery to remove the new tumors, which was successful; however, he is now paralyzed on the left side. He cannot sit up without help. He is currently in a assisted nursing home, which includes some rehab.

It’s tough to be so far away. Edmund made the trip so he could see how his Dad was doing. And, as his tweet indicates, Henry is not the man he once was.

When Dad was dying, Mom would say she didn’t want to “lose him before I lose him.” If you were following us then, you know that we did, kinda.

Here we go on this roller coaster again.

My heart breaks for Edmund and his Mom and sister and brother-in-law. I know, in part, what they are going through.

It sucks that I can’t be there for Edmund the way I should be. I’m trying. I’m still grieving for my father. But when I see how Ed is really feeling, I know what he is talking about, and I just don’t know what to do.

Breathe.

It’s just another glorious day in suck city.