I am upset about things that are going on in the country. (The Zimmerman Verdict, The way women are treated.) Frankly, to save my sanity, I can’t obsess about them. I need to concentrate on me and mine.
I don’t have the emotional equippage. I feel powerless when faced with these big issues (racism, sexism, ughism), so I’m going to just worry about me, my family, and my circle of friends.
The reason why I can do this is that I know I have friends and family who are just as upset and I will let them do something about it, even if that something is just railing at the injustice of it all. I will save my railing on social issues for another day. For now, my friends have got my back.
Case in point, here is what is making me hyperventilate right now:
Last night's freak out about: wiggling temporary crown & remembering I'll be showing teens how to twist balloons on Monday & I'm not ready!
— Lanna Lee Maheux (@lannalee) July 14, 2013
That’s right. My temporary crown is wiggling. And I am not prepared to teach balloons to a bunch of teenagers because I keep forgetting to GET prepared.
And I am flummoxed, do I call my dentist now? Do I show up when they open at 8am tomorrow morning, or do I call them first thing in the morning and make an appointment later in the day. What if the tooth falls out before I can see the dentist? What happens then? I’m trying to eat on the other side of my mouth, but that is not working. It makes my mouth feel weird. Sometimes when my tooth wiggles, I have an awful taste in my mouth.
And this saga of my freaking crown is really freaking me out. I mean, WTF! Why can’t it be simple? Should I just had the tooth pulled? The best thing is to preserve the tooth, presumably, but man, this has been going on since February!
Regarding the balloon thing, fortunately I found some instructions I was working on a few years ago, so I have something to work with. I like to do a handout so if they decide they want to keep up with the balloon twisting, they have something to reference. But I waited too long, I wanted to buy enough balloon pumps for everyone. I don’t think I can get them cheap enough locally to buy 10 balloon pumps with my own money (I will be paid for the workshop, but not right way). Sometimes I am so Type A (just not with cleaning my house. Or cleaning anything.) I want it to be perfect.
My combination of Type A and procrastination leads to much disappointment of self.
Damn, I am such a downer today. Sorry about that, people.
Also, I am on my FOURTH anti-depressant. Finding the right anti-depressant is so depressing. Maybe I’ll post more about it when I have a happy ending. That sounds nice.
(I won’t even talk about how I am a few days late with posting the Lounge with no good reason.)
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