My Illustrious Film Career

Once upon a time all I wanted to be was an actor. But I am a glorious ball of insecurity coupled with a working class ethic, so even though I took risks, they didn’t pan out. Besides, I wanted things like money and secure places to live. I suspect that I am right where I need to be in life, but still, I dreamed of art and stardom. [And I still consider myself an actor.]

The picture above left is of Janeane Garofalo and me in the stellar movie The Matchmaker. Janeane was the star, and I was the day player. The extra. Most of the movie was filmed in Ireland, but a few shots were filmed in the Faneuil Hall Marketplace. I was in the big group scene at the end of the movie. Janeane’s co star, David O’Hara was a charming sort. I flirted with him a bit (he also flirted with about 20 other extras; charming, I tell you). I was working a crap job in Boston at the time, and I called out sick so I could do the shoot. (I don’t think they ever found out.)

Take a look at that picture again. Looks awesome doesn’t it. I am on screen for about 5 seconds. I stood around outside in the cold for several hours to film that. It almost looks like it was planned for me to be there, doesn’t it? What really happened was that they were shooting the close-ups for another shot and they asked for volunteers to stand next to where Janeane was going to walk for her close up, my hand shot up so fast there was a sonic boom. And here I am, immortalized on film.

I was also in another film. (Well, I was in two other films, but only one other film that has an interesting story for it.) That film was Stephen King’s Graveyard Shift. Here I am pictured pretending to go into “My Trailer.” Again, I was an extra. [Extras don’t get trailers. Or chairs.] I was in scenes shot in Brewer, and the night before the shoot the casting person called me and told me they needed more men. At that exact moment my dear brother Bill, who was about 19 years old, (pictured below) was visiting/moving from New York State. So I invited him to come along with me. If they still needed men, he’d get paid for the day. And if not, he could go watch a movie or something. Of course, they thought he was perfect. I think it was because he was 6’3″ tall. And a man. He looked very manly.

We were in the bar scene. I sat at the bar, eating chowda (a cold, congealed mass of ugh) and my brother was milling around holding an empty beer bottle. We both made it into the movie. For me you had to stop and rewind the tape just to make sure you didn’t miss seeing my back. My brother, however, was prominently featured. Much to my chagrin and his eternal delight.