… not that I always follow her advice or example!
- Be inclusive – people don’t like being left out
- Take time for yourself – when we were kids Mom would go on her own solo “camping trips” to a hotel in Bangor Maine. That had to have a pool. There she could indulge in one of her favorite pastimes, bargain hunting!
- Respect your own needs – When my brother and I were old enough to make our own breakfasts and get ourselves to school, my Mom would sleep in. If she needed alone time, she would tell us.
- You can do it yourself – definitely not a helicopter parent, my Mom trusted us to behave, taught us to be self-sufficient, and expected us to work hard
- When you need her, she’ll be there – when we were sick, Mom gave it her all, she waited on us hand and foot, it wasn’t until I was in my 30’s I stopped wishing for my Mom when I got sick (In case you think we might have taken advantage of this, she had a great bullshit meter, she could always tell when we were lying). When I was married the first time, and things started not going well, my parents drove from New York State to Maine to help me out. (I could go on, but I won’t)
- Be kind – which sometimes means keeping your own counsel!
- Tell the truth – which means if they ask for your counsel, give it.
- Do the right thing – which sometimes means doing something very hard or something you don’t want to do. [People call this adulting.]
- Laugh – laugh at yourself, laugh with your family, everything gets a little better with some levity.
- When you fight, don’t get personal – don’t call people names, ever (this is something I have failed at, but most of the time, I do well).
- Don’t make empty threats – if my parents said stop what you are doing, or we will go home, and I didn’t stop, they’d go home.
I am blessed with a wonderful Mother, and I wish her the best of Mother’s Days this year. Since I am so far away, I send my love through the internet.
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