Let’s put some FUN in funeral!


Bad joke.

Today we went to Hallowell for Dot‘s funeral. [I talk about Dot here and here and here.]

Yet, we had fun. A fitting tribute to a fun-loving woman, of course.

After the funeral service, we went to the reception, and after that, Mom, Edmund and I grabbed some lobster and mussels and took them back to Mom’s house and noshed.

And you know what? I’m raw. Too raw to write about anything else, and too raw to write about Dot (without writing bad jokes and whatnot.)

So I’m going to forward you over to Edmund’s blog, where he wrote something very nice about today. It’s beautiful and just what the doctor ordered.



Dot MitheeLast night, Dot Mithee passed away peacefully after a long bout with cancer.

I’ve known Dot Mithee my whole life. She grew up down the road from my mother, in North Guilford Maine. As a child, I looked forward to her visits. The house would ring with sass and laughter.

My parents rented the Mithee camp on First Davis Pond every July for close to thirty years. Dot would come and stay in her “Shanty”, a small cabin on the same property, and she and Mom would stay up talking into the night.

After her Mom passed, Dot started spending holidays with my family. She’d come for Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner, this year she stayed over on Christmas eve last year. (Here is Edmund helping her shave her head.)

I don’t know what else to say without dissolving into a bunch of unseemly curse words. It was too soon. Too much. Mom and I went to see Dot on Friday, and when we left we felt like there was more time. That we’d see her again. That she’d get to go to camp again. And whatever pain I am feeling, I can only imagine what my Mom is going through. She lost both of her best friends, my father and Dot, within a space of a couple of months. I am so glad that Mom and I visited her last Friday night.

Another glorious day in suck city.

So I will do what we always do when someone we love passes. I will remember the good times. Dad and Bill teasing Dot unmercifully – and her giving it right back to them, or cackling merrily. Quiet nights on the pond, with Dot and Mom catching up after not seeing each other for a couple of months.

What I will remember most is her glorious sense of humor and positive attitude. She was a ray of light, put out too soon.

CampMom, Tom, Dot and Me



Mom, Tom, Dot and Me

Dottie, Tom, Dot (seated), Me

Mom, who’s name is Dottie, has four brothers and no sisters. However, she calls her childhood friend, who’s name is Dot, “Sis.” I talked about Dot on Christmas Eve last year, when Edmund shaved Dot’s head.

Dot has lung cancer. She is my mother’s best friend. We lost my father very recently to the same disease. Well, he had a different type of cancer cell than she does, but both had origins from the lungs.

This is where I curse cancer and whatnot. Because it really f*ck*ing sucks.

Dot has been in the hospital off and on over the past few weeks. She is now in hospice care at home and is surrounded by fantastic people who are taking care of her and making sure she is okay. Most of these people are volunteering their time. Twenty-four hours a day. Seven days a week.

We were just informed this week that she was feeling well enough for visitors. Mom and I decided to drive up Friday night (tonight) to visit. I called to let Cindy (the fantastic woman coordinating the care) know and we found out that Dot’s brother Tom was visiting from Missouri. Great! It was a date.

I worked from home and left work early. I picked up Mom at her house. We drove to Hallowell (where Dot lives). We had a lovely time. I hadn’t seen Tom since I was a kid. While he and I went to get some takeout, the two Dotties got some alone time. And we talked and laughed and joked all night. Then we had Archie, one of Dot’s angels, take our picture together on the camera Cindy left behind just for that purpose. Archie was also nice enough to take a couple with my camera (above).

And we talked about Dad.

Sometimes it’s just too much, too soon.

I am grateful for the good times, for the laughter we shared tonight. The teasing. The family stories. The love.

How many times can your heart break?

Christmas Eve Festivities

Christmas Eve Festivities

Dot and Edmund Pre-ShaveTonight Edmund shaved Dot’s head. Wait a minute, let’s start at the beginning.

Today Edmund and I got up first thing (8:15 am) and got ready to pick up Dot (my Mom’s BFF since forever) in Hallowell. We left our house at 10:15, got some MickyD’s for breakfast and sped up Interstate 95 toward Hallowell. We grabbed her from her apartment and drover her back to the WB (Westbrook) and my parent’s house. In the mean time, Bill (my younger brother) drove down from way up North, and we met well. And ate many things. Like cheese and meats and cookies and chocolates and such. And things like this:

Garlicky Cream Cheesey Bready Wreath

And this:

Chicken Wrapped in Bacon. Sweet Bacon.

I talked Bill and Dot into going to see the new Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows movie with me. And we saw it and it was fine. Then back to my parent’s house for more food. Mmmmmm.

Dot wanted her head shaved. She just went through some chemotherapy and it’s falling out, so she wanted to help mother nature along. My brother brought his clippers and the intention was to have him do it. Bill asked Ed if he’d do it and Ed said sure! And I helped. By whipping out the camera!

It begins! The De-hairination

View During

Love these faces! My fave picture in this set.

And after. A job well done.

Now I’m home and getting ready to go to bed. Tomorrow we will be going back over to my parent’s house for more food, to open some presents and tease each other senseless. It’s a beautiful thing.

Merry Christmas everyone!

What are you doing for Christmas? If you don’t celebrate Christmas, do you treat it as just another day?