A Vlog update on my Glorious, Amazing, Crazy, Stupendous Year:

Some of the things I want to do this year terrify me. I am afraid of looking like a fool. In order to be a success, I might have to actually practice/do work/be vulnerable. And what if I do those things (practice/do work/be vulnerable), and fail! Argh!

What I usually do in similar is to give myself a little pep talk. Just saying a few simple phrases under my breath can make the difference in my attitude and help me get up and go. Here they are:

Balls to the Wall

I don’t have balls (ovaries all the way, baby), but this has worked for me in the past.

Why I like it: It’s a little profane, but I think that’s its strength. [Of course the Urban Dictionary says that it is a flying/piloting reference, and not anatomical, but we won't let them ruin our fun, will we?]

Screw em if they can’t take a joke

[Could also be F*&^ em if they can't take a joke.] The person I remember saying this most is my Mom, Dottie Maheux (not pictured).

Why I like it: Who cares what they think? Screw em! A good reminder to please yourself and not others.

God Hates a Coward

This one is from my Dad, Walter Maheux (pictured above). Whenever he psyches himself up to do something difficult, he says “Well, God hates a coward” and gets to it.

Why I like it: It’s a funny way to say the Lord helps those who help themselves. And you don’t want to be a coward, do you?

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What do you say to yourself when you need a pep talk?

In the spirit of my Glorious, Amazing, Crazy, Stupendous Year, I worked on a brain map tonight. A portion of it is pictured to the left, but I do not intend on sharing it in all its glory. A girl’s gotta have some secrets, doesn’t she?

I’ve also made a decision about writing, I will write, by hand, for at least 15 minutes a day. I will endeavor to write other things, but the 15 minutes, and a daily blog post, will be my goal. I will be going by Baby Steps here. Baby steps. I’ve had a daily blog post since November, no reason why I can’t just add one more thing, daily journaling.

I just wrote the word journaling and I feel like hyperventilating. Don’t panic, Lanna. Just roll it back. You’re not journaling, you’re writing in your Moleskine once a day. Totally not journaling.

That’s better.

The creative juices are flowing, so I’m going to work on some other projects right now. Glorious, Amazing, Crazy and Stupendous, no?

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What are you doing tonight?

Edmund is calling 2012 his year of spirit. Since we are married and living together, I will be drawn into this year of spirit with him, and that is perfectly fine with me. A year in spirit is in line with my plans, to make 2012 a Glorious, Amazing, Crazy and Stupendous Year!

I will be trying new things. Crazy things. Things that make me feel uncomfortable. Things that I am hesitant to talk about in case they fail. [Note: as far as I know these THINGS will not be illegal.] I will do art and write and create new works and new opportunities for myself and others.

It is fortuitous that Neil Gaiman’s 2012 New Year’s Wish for his blog readers reads as follows:

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.

So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

[Yes, I borrowed Glorious and Amazing from his post.]

I can’t really quantify all I want to do, because there is a lot. But here is some explication.

Theme: Focus

My theme is focus. I need to find a way to focus that works for me, I want to lose that scattered feeling I get. Overall I will endeavor to focus my energies on my goals and projects. As you might be able to tell from this post, I have difficulty focusing the way normal people do it, so I am choosing to see this as a feature not a bug and make it work for me. How does Lanna focus?

Goals

• Write: Blog Posts, poetry, stories, books, plays
• Exercise: Walk, swim, hike, have fun
• Relax: De-stress

Projects

Just a few of the projects I have underway:

• Already in progress:
  • Bureau of Awesome: podcast with Edmund
  • The Lex and Lanna Show: podcast with Alexis Lyon
• Launching in 2012:
  • The Mainetrix: an online feminist magazine with primarily Maine women writers
  • Wicked Twisted: the next incarnation of my balloon business, or will it be more?
  • Others to be determined

Making 2012 Glorious, Amazing, Crazy, and Stupendous

My most important goal will be to Write. All of my dream projects include some sort of creation/writing aspect to them. I want to write. But, as of yet, I have not truly been a writer. This blog has helped, making me write a little every day, but I want to do more. To create more.

I will live in the moment, accept and learn from my mistakes, and most of all, have fun while I’m doing it.

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What are you doing this year?