Archives for December 13, 2014

Oopsie Daisy

I have a metal nightstand on my side of the bed. We have one of those pillow top beds, so the nightstand has to be tall. It’s not the prettiest thing, but it works.

As I slept, my left hand kept tingling. You know how it happens, something happening in real life bleeds into your dream. Finally I woke up enough so that I could tell that my left hand was tangled up into my nightstand.

I really don’t know what happened.

I might have lashed out at it as I slept to knock the stand over, or did I knock it over when I moved my tangled-up hand? (Can I blame the cats?) Regardless, the nightstand was down along with everything on it. Including my glasses. [And Kindle Fire, and Phone, and Star Wars Moleskine Journal. Also: lots of Ricolas.]

I can’t see without my glasses.

As I worked the blood back into my hand, I heard the sound all cat stewards loathe to hear: the sound that indicates the process of producing cat-vomit.

There are no lights on in the bedroom, the light switch is across the room. Usually I use my smartphone as a flashlight during the night. My cell was somewhere on the floor. And I had to go to the bathroom.

Here I was, in bed, with no idea where my glasses were.

I’ll tell you this, I navigated the mine-field of our bedroom floor successfully, made it to the bathroom and back without stepping in cat vomit. Winning!

Side note: I am so glad we do NOT have a carpet in our bedroom. I am so glad we do NOT have a carpet in our bedroom.

Edmund is still sleeping. I can’t leave the bed because there is cat vomit somewhere and I have no way of avoiding it. So I go back to sleep.

An hour (or so) later, I hear that sound again. Cat Vomit: Round Two. That clinches it, I am stuck in bed.

Edmund is still sleeping.

Yes, yes, I COULD’VE woken Edmund up. But it’s Saturday, the only day of the week neither of us have to work, and it never really occurred to me as an option. The only option was to wait until he woke up.

So I went back to sleep.

And as soon as Edmund woke, I told him everything, about the cat vomit and my metal nightstand adventures. He found the vomit and cleaned it up. And then he picked up my nightstand and put everything back on it, and gave me my glasses.

I was free!

Butt Pillows + Cat Vomit == true love!