Archives for July 2012

Loki is Found!

Loki is Found!


Loki sports a new collar.

Loki is my Mom’s cat and it’s all my fault.

I adopted Loki in around 1999. I lived in Boston. He was a six month old kitten and right away I was smitten. He lived with me and my roommate Richard, and at that point he was an indoor cat. He was a great escape artist, though. He escaped many times into the hallway. Fortunately for me, he never made it out side.

LokiFlash forward to 2002. I am living in Maine for the summer (with my parents) and preparing to move to New York City. I am panicked that I would not be able to find a place that would allow Loki. Mom and Dad agree to take Loki in. Their lives were never the same. Neither was Loki’s.

Mom has a saying, “Loki rules!” And he does. He is a commanding, feisty feline.

Last Thursday, Loki went missing. Mom kept checking on him, he never showed. At the house my parents owned (Mom moved in March) Loki was able to go in and out as he pleased. Right now, not so much. According to Mom, he had disappeared before, but never longer than a couple of days. This was different.
Come to find out, some good Samaritan trucked poor old Lokster over to the Animal Refuge League. I called and sent a picture over yesterday. Today they contacted me back, they had Loki!

So I sprung him from the joint.

My Boobs are a Thing

My Boobs are a Thing

Me and My Boobs and some Red Sox World Series Stuff

This is the closest thing I have to a “boob” picture.

When you have big boobs, like I do, they become a thing.

For instance, I am in a bra wasteland right now. I’ve lost two or three or more bras in my house. (And no, Edmund is not wearing them. I’m pretty sure.) I don’t want to buy new bras because I have some already. They are perfectly serviceable. And as soon as I find them, I can wear them. Edmund suggests that I buy a new bra, as that means I’ll instantly find my old bras, because that would please the underwear gnomes or something. I’m too much of a Yankee, purchasing new bras would be too wasteful.

We did laundry yesterday. And that meant that it was time to wash my bras. I have two. One regular one for work and/special, and an old, shapeless sport bra. I wash my regular bras in the “hand wash” (washed on gentle cycle in cold water, hung up to dry). The sport bra goes with everything else in the dryer. When we got home from the laundromat I forgot to make sure that my regular bra was close to the fan [we have a rack for our “hand wash” in the living room.]

Do you see what’s happening here? Do you know what I’m going to say?

Yes. My regular bra was too wet to wear to work this morning. So I had two choices: wear my shapeless sport bra; or go braless.

Guess which one I chose.

If you chose braless, you would be wrong! Yes, I wore the unflattering and shapeless sport bra.

Go me.

If I had my druthers, I would’ve gone braless. I would still worn a shirt. Although I support Moira Johnston’s topless crusade in NYC, I was at work, where there is air conditioning and professionalism. Generally, Bouncing, Buoyant Boobies are kept under wraps in the workplace.

On days like these, I rail at society (“society, man!”) that constricts me to wear something that I don’t really feel like wearing. Because, when your boobs (bodacious tatas) are on the ginormous size, people notice when they are all hanging out there. Don’t get me wrong, I like my breasts. My identity is wrapped around those bountiful secondary sex characteristics like nobody’s business.

[If you were paying attention you might have realized that while Eddie and I did laundry yesterday, I was not wearing my bra. How could I have been if both my “active” bras were in the wash?]

When I venture in public without a bra I try to layer up. It’s easier to do so in the winter. Much harder in the summer. A nice sweatshirt or windbreaker hides my swaying melons from sight.

Think about it. Why are women (especially large breasted women) expected to wear bras? What purpose does a bra serve? How did bra-wearing become the ideal?

What happens to you when you go into public without a bra? Well, if you are spectacularly unlucky and visiting your local Wal-Mart, you could get a candid photograph taken of you in your dishevelment. Said photo to be published on a very popular website rife with other pictures of its ilk. For me, it’s important to remember, I have the double whammy. Not only am I large breasted, I’m fat. So the derision heaped on the merely plump or slightly overweight large-breasted diva could be heaped on me ten-fold.

What kills me the most is that the only restrictions to whether one should wear a bra or not are based on social “laws” not actual laws. These social laws are enforced by other women and men. The punishment: ridicule and ostracism. If you generally want to be liked (me) that becomes an issue.

Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes wearing a bra is great. If I had a choice on wearing a bra or not, I would pick up the bra every now and again. It would be nice to have the choice.

Edited to add:
My pal Margaret sent this to me on Facebook. So appropriate.

Laundry, Laundry, Laundry

Laundry, Laundry, Laundry

Pratt Abbott before the Dryer upgradeI’ve talked about doing Laundry before. Edmund and I did laundry together today. And it was awesome?

It was okay. We survived.

As I’ve said before:

What the real issue with going to the laundromat is a) getting up the gumption to put the laundry in baskets or bags, and b) getting those baskets and bags out to the car, and c) going to the laundromat.

Fortunately, for me anyway, Edmund was the point man. He put the rest of the laundry in the bags, carried them out to his car and drove to the laundromat. All I had to do is meet him there.

At that point, once the laundry is at the laundromat, the hardest thing to do is to fold said laundry (according to Eddie). Therefore, I did most of the folding. While Eddie sorted his socks.

We are back home now. I am internetting (clicking aimlessly on the social networks de jour searching for something interesting.)

LokiIn other news, my Mom’s cat, Loki, has been missing since Thursday. She went back up north and Edmund and I are left with going back over to her house periodically to see if he shows up. I’ll be calling the Animal Refuge league tomorrow, it seems. Send good thoughts Loki’s way.

Saturday Matinee

Saturday Matinee

Blood Drive at CinemagicSpent the day hanging with Edmund. We watched some Television, then he and I went to a matinee showing of The Dark Knight Rises at Cinemagic.

Cinemagic, where magic and movies come together.

Now I am home. NOT hanging out with Edmund. He’s off in another room. I shall join him soon, I suppose. So I can keep up with my promise to myself that we’d hang out together today.

But I won’t leave before I call the above picture to your attention. It is of the display that the Cinemagic in Westbrook put up for the blood drive they’re having next week. Pretty neat idea to use the promo materials for the upcoming movie The Campaign. And Hilarious. I love it for its whimsy.

Brain Dead Friday

Brain Dead Friday

Squiggy and Lenny are very good at keeping secretsHad not one but two great post ideas for today. One of them I thought of on the way to work. The other, I thought of on the way home.

It is now after ten at night and my brain is mush. I will not be writing either one.

One post was to be about Lounging with LannaLee (LLL) and how it is a sort of digital intellectual salon, a one-on-one conversation about interesting things.

The other was to be about how I sometimes (often) feel like an impostor and how I am working through it. Part of the reason I did not write either post is because of the impostor thing.

When I get an great idea for post I think, “This will be awesome! I can totally write the shit out of that.” And then I lose my confidence and I don’t write it.

[Not every time, obviously. I have written some pretty awesome blag posts in the past few months.]

But I am working on stretching myself and the LLL Show and part of that means stepping out of my comfort zone and writing some more process oriented posts. As far as I can tell, I am doing something new and different with Lounging, it is, in many ways hard to define. It, at it’s core, is a conversation with me and another fascinating person. My guests are asked to be on the show because mainly I think they’re interesting and that we could have a great conversation.

That is what is at the core of the Salons of old: great conversation, lively debate. There is a television show that was on when I was a kid that comes to mind when I think about what kind of tone I want for Lounging with LannaLee, and it’s The Michael Douglas Show. The Michael Douglas Show was witty and funny and more than that it was fun. People would talk about real issues too, overall it was a great time. I remember the show very fondly.

So I kinda did talk about the things I thought of talking about but then realized my brain was too fried to talk about so I decided to talk about that and voila! a post was born.

You still think I’m an impostor. Don’t you?

Podcast Thursday with @CandaceKaru!

Podcast Thursday with @CandaceKaru!

Candace lounged with LannaLee and got a couch!

Candace lounged with LannaLee and got a couch!

It’s podcast Thursday! This week I sat down with Candace Karu and had a great conversation about art and work/life balance I bet you’d LOVE to hear it.

Here is the description of the episode:

LLL019 Candace Karu: Marathon Woman

What will make Candace Karu wear palazzo pants and carry a long cigarette? Lanna hunkers down with Favorite Foodie Candace for a rousing discussion of food, art, and work/life balance. Lanna learns about the meditative properties of running. Candace shares her appreciation of great cheddar and passion for healthy living. And she answers 10 questions.

So, what are you waiting for? Listen now!

Blah, I say. Blah.

Blah, I say. Blah.

BlahSometimes I feel pretty blah. I don’t know what to write. So I make stuff up.

That’s what I’m trying to do RIGHT NOW.

With less than stellar results.

Are the results due to basic blah-ness? Or brain fartness? Who knows.

I did pretty up this Blah picture for you. Because I care. And whatnot. You love it, don’t you?

Black Hole

Black Hole

An artist's drawing shows a large stellar-mass black hole pulling gas away from a companion star. Image Credit: NASA E/PO, Sonoma State University, Aurore Simonnet

An artist’s drawing shows a large stellar-mass black hole pulling gas away from a companion star. Image Credit: NASA E/PO, Sonoma State University, Aurore Simonnet

I feel like there’s something behind me. Grey. Ominous. Hanging out there in my peripheral vision. I whip my head around and I don’t see it. But I know it’s there.

I’m doing fine, you see. Mostly cheerful. Not sure I’m even depressed anymore. If I am, it’s mildly, cheerfully depressed. I can live with that.

But then I think about stuff I’m doing and stuff I might do and whatever that stuff is, there is one person who is not here to enjoy it. To cheer me on. To be proud of me. And my heart breaks again.

Dad’s death is like a black hole, something that could suck me in, pulverize me if I let it. The black hole is behind me, always just out of sight. I acknowledge it, but I do not invite it to come forward. I’ll let it lurk, hoping that its stinky breath does not land on my shoulder.

I put my blinders on. If I don’t think about the black hole, it can’t be there, right?

Okay. It’s there.

I don’t think it can really hurt me.

Walter MaheuxOne night as I drifted off to sleep, Dad’s face popped up [looking young and handsome and impish like the photo to the right], like he was saying “Hellew.”

I won’t lie, it FREAKED me out. It made me wake right up. And made me laugh.

Maybe the Black Hole is a wave of laughter that’s trying to catch up with me.

Maybe it’s joy.

That seems to be a bit much to ask.

Let’s say it’s joy.

It’s joy. And when I’m ready for it, all I have to do is stay still. It will wash over me, like a warm bath.

A newsletter for the ages

A newsletter for the ages

Link to: GotThink? a newsletter for the agesStarting in August I’ll be offering a newsletter that is cross-purposed! To bring all my fans together (all tens of you!)

Here is the plan: You sign up. (This is critical). If you sign up, you will get a free gift! An e-copy of an unpublished, very short story I wrote. (If you don’t sign up, you won’t. And then you will have a sad.) The short story is already there, waiting for you in the Welcome email. It will be AWESOME!

And then, starting in August, every week you will get an email from me. With highlights of what I’m thinking about, what’s happening in the world, and a personal message just for you.

The theme will be: GotThink.

What have we got for you think about? Technology, communication, fiction, balloon animals, geek stuff: here is the place I will crystallize all the things I do into one place. An overview, you might say. And there will be exclusive free stuff: stories, pictures, special podcasts – as a member of the GotThink team, you will have first dibs on some pretty cool stuff.

Here is your call to action: Join the list. Share this post. Tell your friends.

Let’s start the conversation…

Sign Up to receive Awesome in your mailbox once per week! Podcast Awesome with Lounging with LannaLee! Musings of Lanna Lee Maheux Awesome! And special Awesome, an exclusive note every week, just for email subscribers.

And as a bonus, those who sign up for the list will receive an exclusive, free, unpublished e-story written by ME, LannaLee.

Subscribe to GotThink? a newsletter for the ages

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Maine Beautiful

Maine Beautiful

A slice of AwesomeI was Lounging at an Undisclosed Location today. Easy to lounge in a beautiful place like this. Along with the beautiful people.

Our internet is back on. I don’t want to relive the past 36 hours. Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic. My phone still worked. But funny thing, I turned on my computer and I didn’t know how to interact with it without the internet. The first thing I do is check my email, check Twitter or Facebook. And when those aren’t available? What do I use a computer for?

I discovered the games on my computer. I played Zuma and Spider Solitaire. This is not a good thing. I play games obsessively. Until I don’t. For instance, a couple of years ago I was all over the Facebook Games. Hardcore. And all of a sudden I quit. So hoping that I don’t become obsessive with the Zuma and the Spider Solitaire. So far so good.

Mike lounged with LannaLee and got a couch!

Mike lounged with LannaLee and got a couch!

One thing I did not send out on the blag was a link to this week’s Lounging with LannaLee episode. I usually do one on Thursday, when the episode airs. But it was Mom’s birthday last Thursday. I thought, I’ll do it on Friday. And then I almost forgot to write my post on Friday. And then the internet went out Saturday. And only came back on today.

So now I will tell you to listen to the most recent episode of Lounging with LannaLee. It features my pal Mike Harris, who is a fantastic speaker, storyteller and public speaking coach.

C’mon. Listen. You know you wanna.

No internet makes Lanna a sad Panda

No internet today. Called FairPoint. We’re in one of those it-could-take-24-hours-it-could-take-72-hours-feedback-loop. Sucks.

Pecking away at this entry on my phone. Not an optimum situation for me.

I don’t even know how to interact with my computer without the internet. Sad, but true.

First world problems.

No time like the present

To no write my blag post in time.

Instead, I will regale you (again) with my Dramatic Reading of Google Voice Mail messages. Because it amuses me.

And it’s all about amusing me, isn’t it?

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Mom with a Frosty BeverageToday is Mom’s Birthday. I celebrated it by working from home, driving Eddie over to Mom’s house (where his broken car was), letting her cat out, trying to help Eddie jump start his car, abandoning Edmund to wait for AAA, going back home to work remotely, finding out that it only took $7.50 to fix Ed’s car (?!?!?!?), eating fresh lobster for lunch, working some more, calling my Mom to wish her a happy birthday, going to the Cocktails and Creatives party in Portland, drive back home, stop at Subway to get sub for dinner on the way, get home, change into pjs. Notice that we FORGOT to put Mom’s cat back in her house. Throw some sweats on, cajole Edmund to come with me and drive over to let the cat back in. Go home. Eat sandwich. Write this post. Get ready to sign back into work.

So really more about me than Mom. Other than her freaking cat. Who is a good boy. Usually.

When I talked to Mom today she was getting ready to go online again. She’s up at camp and is traveling all over Piscataquis county stealing wi-fi signals. Presumably legally. She’s not much of a hacker, yet.

So that’s it. Happy Birthday, Mom. You’ll be glad to know that Ed’s car is out of your door way. And your cat is safe inside this evening. Also, I love you.

Ray Payton – the 10th Mmm Comedy

Ray Payton – the 10th Mmm Comedy

You know how people say there’s a fifth Beatle. Well, Ray was the 10th Mmm Comedy.

Context is important, so let me tell you a little story. A long time ago (in August 2002) a girl (me) moved to New York City. I didn’t know a soul. I moved there to shake up my life and ACT, dammit! And right away started doing improvisation. I auditioned for the Improv groups at the New York Comedy Club run by a woman whose name I cannot for the life of me remember. And I got in! They had two shows a week. Friday and Saturday, if I remember correctly. I probably don’t. But it wasn’t this improv group that was important, it’s the people I met while doing it.

Dave, Duncan, Morla, Me, Max, Josh, Kate. In back Austin. Down Below, Joe.

Dave, Duncan, Morla, Me, Max, Josh, Kate. In back Austin. Down Below, Joe.

You see an intrepid group of us decided to branch off and start our own group: Austin, Dave, Joe, Kate, Morla, Duncan, Josh, Max and Me. Some of us (Me included) still wanted to stay in the NYCC groups, but we all were feeling like we could be better together. (We were.)

Mmm... Comedy

Mmm… Comedy

So Mmm Comedy was born!

Our idea: Do a variety show every week. We’d script a show, weave it with improv and improv games, a musical guest and a couple of comics. It was pretty inspired. And fun. None of us had any money, we just chipped in where we could for advertising and such. Dave designed the logo. I did the webpage and designed the flyers. In fact, here is our website, from the internet archive Wayback machine, in all its glory. (Please note, this was in 2003. I did not have Dreamweaver. I hand-coded html straight up in notepad.) We all took turns in Times Square handing out 2 for 1 coupons; some of us (me) less than others.

We had our first show on Monday, January 6th, 2003 in Hell’s Kitchen at Tobacco Road. From January until April, we rocked it. It was glorious. We produced a whole new show EVERY WEEK. We split up into groups to write the scripts (like Monty Python we had certain people who worked really well together.) Throw in a musical guest and a couple of comics and we were golden.

Ray Payton

Ray Payton

Our favorite comic was Ray Payton. Click on the video below, and you’ll see why. Dude was funny! He did stand up the first week, and came back several times. Heck, he’d come to the show even if he wasn’t on the roster. We loved Ray. Although Ray didn’t improv with us, he was another member of our troupe. An integral part.

You probably knew this was the point: I found out over the weekend that Ray passed away on Friday. I suspect from complications from Diabetes. I don’t know for sure. I haven’t said anything publicly yet because I have yet to find an obituary for him.

Ray with the ladies

Ray with the ladies at our first Show.

Over the years, I’ve reconnected with the rest of my Mmm Comedy buddies (thank goodness for Facebook!) But I never did with Ray; he used his legal name, Rahssan Damon Payton, on Facebook and I only knew him by his stage name.

I regret losing touch.

My heart goes out to Ray’s (Rahssan’s) friends and family. He was a gentle soul who was rip-roaringly funny.

Cleaning House

I am overwhelmed and underrested. My house is a mess. I would say that my life is a mess, but it really isn’t a total mess, but a clean house would definitely make my life better.

I want to do so many things at the same time that I am unsure of where to begin. Afraid of starting at the wrong place. So rather than just start SOMEWHERE, I don’t do anything. Paralyzed.

But. I don’t have to do it all myself. Edmund will help; has been helping all along.

I need to nest. (And Rest.)

I also want to clean up and crystallize all of the projects I have going on the interwebs. After four-and-a-half months of seat-of-the-pants gut work, I am FINALLY sure what direction Lounging with LannaLee is going. Now I need to articulate it. Which requires thought. And my brain is foggy. Because my house is messy. I am stuck in an endless loop.

Also for this place, my blag, I want to broaden what I talk about. To talk more about the Lounging project and to explore how to incite conversations. To share more. To push the envelope.

All along I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with my life. The thing is, I’m doing it. And the more I do it, the clearer the path is.

So new goal: get my shit together.

End Game:

  • Cleaned House: suitable for entertaining
  • Rested Lanna: suitable for entertaining
  • Reorganized LLL website: suitable for entertaining
  • Vitalized Musings website: suitable for entertaining

I should’ve called this post “Suitable for Entertaining”

Eddie and I have been talking about our various projects. And what we want to DO with our lives. So look for more of that in the coming months.

And keep your calendar open, Lanna’s going to have a yard sale.