Not so happy go lucky

We got the results from Dad’s biopsy back today. Not good. He has small cell cancer, which grows fast. They did not give him much time.

Which was, of course, our hope. That we would have some time with him. A few months, a year maybe. But it’s not to be.

Sometimes it’s hard to see a silver lining. Or the blessing.

So I guess the blessing is this: that we DO have time with him. That, in spite of his plans, he did not “drop dead.” He is still here, with us, and he’s still making jokes. And we can say good-bye.

Maybe it can be like those phone calls when you are a teen: “You say good-bye.” “No, you.” “No, you say it.” “You say good-bye.”

I’m not going to say it. Not for a hundred years.


  1. Oh Lanna, my heart goes out to you, your Dad, and the rest of your family. Cherish the time you do have (I know you will). Maybe make some videos with him? Jokings, stories, who knows…

    Your post on this is so poignant. Beautiful.

  2. Smmelia78 says:

    Lanna, I know this is way too sad, let me know when you need me! Love you Sue

  3. Becky Russell says:

    You only have to say good-bye for the time you have left on this earth. You are not giving up your Daddy. God has blessed us with eternity – a time without tears – a time without hurt – a time you can share with your Daddy as long as you can imagine. He can joke and you can laugh!
    Personally, I can’t wait! Because my Daddy is waiting for me! My Daddy was the best ever! He loved Jesus and he loved me. My Daddy reminds me of yours in so many ways. Daddy wore that tacky brown hospital gown for weeks and looked at the nurses and said, “I really don’t look good in this color. Do you have any other options?” Every time I think of Daddy, I smile and know that one day I will be with him forever.
    God is here. He created us. He loves us. Jesus said that he has prepared a place for us and that where he is, we shall also be. Jesus has prepared a place for your Dad. When it is the perfect time, he will go to that place of healing. And when it is the perfect time, you will join him.
    That is good news for me. Great news, actually.
    I know your pain. Letting my Daddy go to heaven without me was a hard thing.
    I have been there. I hope I can be there for you. You have blessed my life. — Becky Russell

  4. I’m so sorry for you and your family Lanna. I am glad you have some time. I have a Mom with Alzheimers. It started about 8 yrs. ago, when she was 80. The letting go process has been gradual and very stressful. Now at 88 , she’s like living with a stranger. The personality is gone, the humor and the maternal connection. It’s hard to say if there is any such thing as a good way to say goodbye.
    My heart goes out to you. <3 Colette

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