Super Lanna

Introducing a new feature, Jammin! I will be Jammin when I need and want to write a post but don’t have the time to think of a proper one. So I will take 15 minutes and a writing prompt (from here, actually) and write like the wind.

Today’s Prompt “If I were a superhero, I would be…”

If I were a superhero. Wait a sec, I am a superhero. I am so super and heroey, and no one can stop me as I leap to conclusions and stifle your creativity for the greater good of my favorite pasttime: fighting indignity in pregnant waterfowl.

My super hero name is Super Lanna, or Lanna Lee Maheux – Super extraordinaire, to my friends. To my enemies I am known as that girl who just won’t shut up about what bad thing they are doing. And then I smite them with a smile.

My arms spread wide and I hug the world with my superheroness. And I fly without going up in the air because I am afraid of heights or falling or both or none, so I just fly as I run toward infinity, differentiating as I go.

In my office chair I am a pilot of awesomeness, and my farts are like flowers in the springtime, tangy and sweet.

Everyone loves me.

Except for the people who don’t love me, and those people are so misguided I forgive them with a wave of my magic wand of forgiveness and delight and I tell them to wake up and feel the awesome that is me. Then they love me because everyone loves me and they finally get it! Super Lanna is lovey dovey.

Until she is not.

You wouldn’t like Super Lanna when she is angry because her words become actions and you realize that Super Lanna will SLAP you silly if you don’t stop your asswipery. And then she will smite you. This time with a smitey thingy (not a smile) so you better duck. [Sometimes the smitey thingy is a balloon, which really doesn’t hurt, but you should duck anyway because when Super Lanna chooses a smitey thingy it is because it is the closest hitty thing to her so the possibilities are endless and frightening. Smitey thingies could also be a baseball bat, a folding chair, a pen, a book, anything that is close-to-hand. You have been warned.]

Anger Super Lanna at your peril.

Right now Super Lanna is chill. All is good with the world. And she knows that you will be good. Or else.

What if you were a super hero? [And what do you think about Jammin? Should it be a regular feature?]